One of the biggest surprises at this year’s The Game Awards ceremony, hosted by industry white guy Geoff Keighley, wasn’t how many categories Death Stranding lost. Instead, early into the event Phil Spencer from Xbox took the stage to announce the name and design of their next console. Called the Xbox Series X, it will deliver four times the processing power of an Xbox One X by stacking four of them on top of each other. Phil Spencer said, “The odd shape may confuse some, which is why also decided to give it a confusing name. We figured why change things now?”
The large size may be a bit concerning for some who like to fit all their devices neatly into their entertainment center, but that’s the price of being a Real Gamer™. When asked if the console was actually just four Xbox One X’s glued together, Phil laughed nervously and said:
“Of course not, one of the biggest challenges the team faced when making Xbox Series X was how to get four generations of backwards compatibility into a single box. They worked hard and I’m incredible proud of what they came up with. Every single Xbox Series X console comes packed full with every single game disc that’s ever appeared on an Xbox console. That’s why it’s so big.”
This is in stark contrast with the announcement of the Xbox One which was overshadowed by Microsoft’s aggressive push towards digital purchases. By including a physical disc of every game, you’re guaranteed to be able to play every game whenever you want for all eternity, truly a dream come true. Just imagine coming home and swimming in a sea of DVD discs like some mouth-breathing Scrooge McDuck, refusing to let go of the only thing that gives your pathetic life any meaning. This is truly the best time to be a Real Gamer™.
